The family, the place where you can be who you want to be. Really ? How do the temperaments affect the relationship structure of the family? We want to take a closer look at this.
Temperaments In The Family
Principles
Fortunately, the parents usually do not have the same temperament. Diversity gives the possibility of choice, of choice, which is often characteristically challenging. But we all want to mature, don't we? Since there are strengths and weaknesses in every combination, both topics should be considered somewhat.
Five blogs on this topic have already appeared. They are fundamental to this blog.
4T-Overview 4T-Sanguin 4T-Melancholic 4T-Phlegmatic 4T-Choleric
Melancholy Parent
Let's remember: the melancholic masters the details. Knowing how to deal with details is important. Care and order are important character objectives. Setting high standards belongs in his field. The willingness to make sacrifices is unique, as is the children's interest, talents and eagerness to learn.
Positive Influence
If we succeed in promoting and developing the joy of good performance, then that is extremely positive and fits into our model of society. Since the attention to the child's behavior and the child's soul can often be forgotten or overlooked, it is important that the right love language (see blogs) is chosen. The better you love yourself, the easier it is to pass on love. Especially the love of music, e.g. playing music together, promotes cohesion and EQ (frontal lobe). Bringing in the talents and thus carefully challenging them and not demanding too much or too little - that will weld the family together.
Bad Influence
What can then unfortunately easily happen is that the children are overwhelmed. Excessive demands produce either resignation or rebellion. Both should be avoided at all costs. Admitting your own mistakes, and not just when you have to, is important for the children. In addition, your own low self-esteem and being depressed should be transferred as little as possible to the children. This parent should work on that seriously.
Children of all temperament tendencies can be introduced to the world of music. The world of sound, concentration, accuracy, foreplay and a sense of achievement promote the child holistically.
Choleric Parent
His organizational talent, an eye for the future (goals) and the drive to achieve are important components. Passing on the doer type, promoting joy in what has been achieved are honorable educational goals. Neglecting the emotional development within family relationships often destroys the ability to bond, which is necessary for a happy marriage. Special attention must be paid to this.
Positive Influence
Allowing these gifts to flow into the family structure is not always easy, but it is feasible. Always giving the right answer impresses the children. A strong personality is especially important for boys. Feeling safe and accompanied as a child strengthens self-confidence. Do not stay on top of the old, but step forward courageously, with a wide range of interests, lead the child independently and confidently into adulthood, these are important characteristics and steps. Also accept unfinished work. It will be worth it.
Bad influence
To 'produce' a negative choleric child simply needs to be punished or beaten every time the child cries. Such a child will unconsciously have to protect his own feelings and can no longer establish an emotional bond. Constant excessive demands and constant bossing around lead in the wrong direction. Bringing the answer too quickly, leading to immaturity, no children's answer, no room for relaxation, because the program always has to run, all of which leaves negative traces.
Introducing children to interesting activities in a child-friendly manner, accompanying them, being interested in their development and showing joy in performance (willingness), that can be a strength of choleric people. Diversity and specialization, there should be space for both.
Sanguine Parent
Traveling with a friendly, open and optimistic partner is certainly a privilege. It's never boring with them. They know how to cheer you up even in dull days. The charm and creativity quickly convince. However, intellectual loyalty is a challenge. Wandering from flower to flower is a thing of the past, now it's serious. The melancholy partners take care of that, because they find safe methods to prevent it. Life is not just enjoyment, but responsibility for the family, with a stable financial budget, an important lesson for the sanguine.
Positive Influence
With it, the home becomes a playground, also for the neighboring children. Any disaster is turned into a comedy. Interesting bedtime stories, loving touch, moments of friendship and optimism for the new day let the children fall asleep well.
Bad Influence
The promises made must not simply be forgotten. Listening carefully and promoting the children's language and expression should not be neglected. Setting an example to them in moderate eating, a disciplined lifestyle, thoughtful decisions and good time management will prepare them for adulthood.
Games, sports, excitement - sanguine people are always up for fun. That adds spice to everyday life. This is a typical image for an S father.
Phlegmatic Parent
This partner remains steadfastly on course. His patience and ability to listen, his way of mediating peace, are quickly convincing. His introversion and insecurity often seem unnecessary and a hindrance. Why withdraw, show no initiative, only react under pressure, that could be better. The sometimes stubbornness alternates with a friendly willingness to compromise. Proactively assuming responsibility for the spouse and children will identify them as a mature parent.
Positive Influence
Taking time for the children, never getting upset, not showing any nervousness, conveying relaxation, answering in a balanced and prudent manner, solving and avoiding problems, that will convince the offspring. Being a real friend to the children cannot be taken for granted. The children surprise with an initiative, e.g. go skiing, play football, etc., that makes an impression. They put all their trust in this relationship because they are hardly ever disappointed.
Bad Influence
A lack of self-motivation and constant dependence on external drivers make an unfavorable impression on the children. Selfish decisions, a certain self-righteousness, the pressure from work are also not well noticed. React positively to change - what you can get today, don't postpone until tomorrow -, convert weakness in decision-making into strength, turn "I don't care" into a YES or NO, all of this has a beneficial effect on the family.
Be there for the children. Have time, answer questions, think and feel for them and act with them. You really appreciate that.
Grandparents' Influence
. After all, the parents are responsible for bringing up their grandchildren. If you, dear reader, have the privilege of being grandparents, then I would like to suggest that you let your grandchildren pour all the potential you have developed over the years. You now know what is important in life. They know the dangers and obstacles that await their grandchildren. More on this in the blog 40+.
Positive Influence
Young parents have so much to learn. The children are constantly changing, they have to constantly adapt themselves. In addition, there are all the other needs, such as those of marriage and work, which repeatedly cause stress.
As grandparents, being a calm, reliable, wise pole here, where you can orientate yourself and where you can recharge, that is what represents added value for the children and grandchildren. Don't stuff your grandchildren with Swiss chocolate, don't spoil them with what their parents prohibit or want to avoid. No. Adopt the rules and principles of the parents as much as possible. Whatever is not wise, you may objectively explain with them in a good atmosphere.
Let a NO be a NO. Don't let yourself be manipulated. The children need boundaries, otherwise they are of little use later. Complement the upbringing with promoting emotional intelligence. "Waiting, exercising patience, training concentration, self-control, expressing feelings, giving mutual help", these are some valuable qualities that you can stand up for.
Bad Influence
As mentioned, don't let spoiling the grandchildren turn them into a bad puppet in the kids. You deserve more. Life is very demanding. One more thing: Avoid letting the children play digital games with you. That neglects her frontal lobe. Bring the kids out into nature. Watch them. Let the children experience the animals and flowers. No TV please. They're bad babysitters. Something practical, handicrafts, creative activities, traveling, up and down mountains is also something that creates character. You can use it to leave an unforgettable stamp on the children.
How nice it is to celebrate the youngsters' victories! Giving you emotional support and positive feedback, you will always be grateful for that.
Summary
Much has been written. Hopefully there was something useful for you.
The way we deal with our temperaments is a gift and a task. If you want to make something out of your life, you don't just let yourself be pushed through life, but take the initiative to advance, to mature, to grow up. While many avoid this maturation process, perhaps out of fear or convenience, there are still some who have come to realize the value of their lives. It's a gift, and with God's help, something wonderful can be made of it. I wish you that from the bottom of my heart.
I wish you success !
If you are interested in a temperament test, you can get one using my email address: ERNST.ZWIKER@YAHOO.COM.
